Gobgoba, Vacuum's and Crying Babys

 Finally , we reached the chalet! I quickly grabbed my Nike bag from the trunk, and dashed inside our beach house. 

"3al aqal 9ikay el baab warach!" I heard my mom holler behind me. 

"7a9ranaaaa!"  I quickly called back the first excuse that came into my mind. I needed to exit the premises immediately!  I couldn't risk my parents opening the dangerous subject regarding who shall not be named .. 

Dramatic much? To me it's not. I regard marriage as a taboo. Whenever the subject of "marriage" is brought up among my friends their eyes usually glaze up, hug a cushion close to their chest and sigh deeply. No doubt picturing their perfect, romantic life with the perfect spouse. Me however, I see marriage as commitment. Nothing more! Nothing less! A look of terror dawns upon my face as I picture myself donned with an apron, a  vacuum in one hand and a wailing child in the other. And of course lets not forget the husband bellowing in the background, "MAAIDAA !! WAIN 3ASHAAAY!!"  

I involuntarily shuddered as I plopped down on my bed. No. My answers will defiantly be a no! I reassured myself over and over again that I'm still free as a bird with no strings attached then drifted off to a restless slumber.

"Maida! Maida!" someone hissed in my ear. "maido o yahaad! Gamaaay!" 

"5 min o akhali9 el 3asha," I mumbled into my pillow. "5 min plzz."

I groggily opened one eye as I started to distinguish the sound of the person snorting beside me and saw my cousin Gobgoba's face smirking at me. "Gibgibo? Shetsaween hne? esa3a cham?" 

"Ehehe," she laughed as she crossed her legs on my bed. "Wa7da wa7da. Awal shay yeet men balakontich as usual. oo el sa3a 6 el 9ob7." 

"La waaalaaaaaa," I said in a mockingly happy tone. "Oo shemga3idich ya 7elwaaaaaaa?"

"Ma yatne el --" 

Before she knew it, I smacked her with a pillow on her head. 

"OO ANA SHAKU FEECH!!" I hissed at her as I pulled the covers over my head. "6e9aay yalla!" 

"Alla ya entay 3asraaa awal ma etgomen," said Gobgoba. "Ala ye3en raylich 3alaich." 

I opened my eyes wide, pulled the covers off my face and said in menacing tone. "Eyaani weyach etyebeen serat rayli 3ala elsanich!"

She burst into laughter and started teasing me. "Men al7een bedaina en'3aar. Ya Ba5at hal rayeel!" 

"Ewwww!" I said scrunching my nose as though I smelled a horrible stench. "Ma7iba ge6ee3a teg6i3a!''

Gobgoba rolled her eyes, used to me verbally bashing my future unknown husband. "enzain yalla yalla gamay the sea is GORGEOUS !" 

"Dam feha ba7ar el salfa, I'M UP!" I said jumping out of bed and giving her one more smack with the pillow. 

"HEEEEY!" she shrieked. "What was that for!" 

"I just felt like it," I shrugged, then shut the bathroom door with a shriek as I saw her hurling the pillow at me.

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The sun started to set too soon for Gobgoba and I and we unwillingly said goodbye to our friends then headed back inside the beach house as our mothers called us in for dinner. As we moved closer to the door I heard my mom speaking to Gobgoba's mother. 

"sheftaay shloon 6a7at flana men el bananna! hahaha I can't stop laughing--" 

"Sssssh!!" I said quickly putting my hands over Gobgoba's mouth. 

Her eyes looked at me questionably. I simply answered her by putting my hands behind my ears and pointing at the door. Once she heard our mothers voices, she let out a low muffled "mmmm," and nodded in understanding. A pulled my hands away from her mouth and we walked closer to the door, and pushed it slightly so the better we could hear them. 

"Ee walla ya Om Nagroor 5osh nas," we heard Gobgoba's mom say. "El kel yanshid 3an sana3hum o 6ebathum." 

"Maaa sema3na 3anhum ella kel 5air," my mom said. "bas maido hathi rasha yabis. men fita7nala sera galat la2." 

Gobgoba looked at me no doubt wanting an answer but I just ignored her. 

"Oo shesim el walad?" 

"Waladhum esma hamoor." 

"Haw hatha refej weldi Zbaidi!" Gobgoba's mom said excitedly. "Ma ya6ree ela eb kel 5air." 

"Maidoo!" Gobgoba said impatiently. "Shsalfa!"

"oooo999!" I said pulling her away from the door. "mafeeh salfa!"

"No!" she said putting her hands on her waist. "SPILL NOW!" 

"Fine I will bas let's go to your room! Mabi omahatna yesmi3ona" 

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15 minutes later I told Gobgoba about everything. 

"Oo bas." I concluded as I gulped down my Pepsi. 

"Bas?" she asked. 

"Ee getlich maku salfa! Bas ana madri shfeha mama wayid emlazma 3alaih," I groaned. 

"Entay shfeech 3al zawaj ya3ne it's not unusual for a 21 year old to get married!" 

"Well I DON'T!" I said with a final tone. 

"3an el dala3 yala! Ta3alay bas I want to show you something," she said grabbing her laptop. 

"What?" I asked curiously. 

"Hamoor!" she said with a devilish smile on her face. "Shfaydat my brother's facebook account?"